Status

“So, I am going to be more responsible. From today my name would be tailed with that of my better halfJ”

Her status update greeted me  on Facebook. Yes, that was the day she had been waiting for years. I was sitting in the balcony of my room at the Lavender Palace Kochi, a seashore resort with five-star hospitality. I looked at the ocean that roared with anger hidden in its waves. I was disturbed. The gigantic bed and Italian cuisine seemed uninteresting. No luxuries in the world can make you happy when you are “really” down.

“Why didn’t you tell her your feelings? She would have loved you Samir” My heart interrogated me. The fear of losing a friend stopped me from telling my feelings for her.  However, my heart didn’t listen. It kept questioning me. It enhanced the intensity of my depression…I closed my eyes to escape from the harsh reality and journeyed back to the past…

I was a young boy then. My father wanted to see me as an engineer while my mother dreamed her only son becoming a doctor. However, I wanted to pave a different path. Therefore I chose arts stream.

It was at the college I met her. She stood different from others due to her eccentric characters. Students tagged her as “weird”. However, I did not find anything strange with her. She was just thinking different unlike all others. I found it interesting. Sorry, I forgot to tell you her name. She is Neha, a beautiful girl with blue iris. She had long hair strands that would touch the ground and they could broom the floor. However, she did not display it as she dressed her hair in a particular way. I still do not remember the exact day we started our friendship. We became best friends and shared every little things happened in our life. It was the only time I drank tea without sugar and had ice cream without chill. Yes, I overlooked everything when I was with her!

She wanted to become a writer and we used to devote our free time in library, reading classics and modern works. I had nothing to do with indigestible works of our classic writers. They wrote about everything in a complex language. Critics called it “great” while I tagged it as “circumlocution “. Yes, classic writers don’t know how to simplify things. Nevertheless she had a great interest in reading classics. I flipped through the pages, containing the pictures of half-naked actresses in the film magazines while she gave her heart and soul to Shakespeare and Tolstoy.

I don’t know when, but it happened. I fell in love. Truly it was a never before feeling. The entire universe seemed dull under her absence. Life was fascinating when she was around. My heartbeat rose for reasons that cannot be clarified. My senses gained sharp sensitivity whenever she spoke.  I started reading the eternal sonnets on love by Shakespeare even though I was not able to understand it. 

 “You have changed” She used to say whenever I talk about classic writers and their works.

 I picked a good day to share my feelings with her.  It was a Christmas eve. We had come to the Barista coffee house to have a good time. I had ordered a bouquet of roses from the nearby flower stall without informing her. I wanted to astonish her. The boy at the flower stall had told me that the flowers would be arriving within minutes. Meantime I tried to start the most difficult conversation I had ever encountered. Every hard-nosed one will melt while revealing his love to his girl. Same was my condition. I cleared my throat and searched for words.

“I…” She paused me when I was about to start. She gestured me to keep quiet and started to speak.

“I have a surprise gift for you.” She said.

“Gift? Don’t be formal” I smirked, covering my amazement.

“Yeah, It’s a gift with cute face and deep eyes” She said, leaving me puzzled.

“You are confusing me” I resisted.

“I am giving you a priceless gift” She said and whistled instantly. The whistle was the signal for the gift to arrive. It was a young handsome boy.

“Neha, what’s happening?”  I asked her, scanning the gift. I felt annoyance at her odd way of talking.

“Meet Tony. This is my gift” She said in an excited voice. Tony smiled at me to show his friendliness. I didn’t smile back.

“What’s this all about?” I yelled at her.

“Let me explain. Tony will be your good friend from today. I love him.”

 I felt a lump in my throat when she stopped .The last sentence broke me. She introduced me to Tony. His handshake crushed my bones and I felt great pain. I stood still, cold like an ice berg. She hugged me as I approved their relation. For the first time I felt immense grief when she hugged me. A gentle tear ran out of my eyes.

“What happened?” She asked.

“I am very happy for you” I said wiping my tears. I excused myself and rushed to the flower stall while they sat to talk. The boy at the flower stall was packing the bouquet when I reached there. It looked wonderful. To charm the effect he had decorated it with golden papers that reflected every light rays encountered it.

“What happened sir? Your gift will be ready within a minute.” The boy said when he saw me. I was glad that he recognized me.

“Sorry, I am here to cancel the order.” I said.

“But you have already paid no? We cannot refund it.” The boy said in a gloomy tone.

“Never mind. Give it to your love.” I said. He looked happy then.

“What happened sir?” He asked.

“The springtime of my life has passed away…” I said, fighting tears. My poetic dialogue seemed strange to him, but it came from the bottom of my heart .The boy stared at me with a blend of amazement and sadness when I walked away, leaving my dreams behind…

I woke up instantly from the sleep that gifted me shattered dreams of past. The night had deepened. I looked around. My PC was still on, showing my Facebook profile. I had numerous notifications, mostly from my audience. They praised my new movie, my fifth directorial venture and declared it as a hit. I opened my message box and came across with Neha’s note.

“Good work Sam. I watched it on the first day of my wedding. Can’t believe? TRUE! Liked it. Missed you deeply today.  But I know that you are busy. Idiot, you haven’t called me to any of your films yet. You have forgotten the promise you made when we were in college. I am still beautiful  J ! Lots of love J “

I read her message. She is still around me as a very good friend. She calls me twice every week and comes to meet me whenever I am around. I thought. I checked her profile updates. She had changed the cover photo. It was a snap of the bride and groom dressed in beautiful wedding attires. She looked beautiful in the white gown. Tony wore suit and he too appeared handsome. The relationship status was updated into “married”. Those seven letters were hurting. I messaged her back.

“I am going to announce my next movie soon. You are doing the major role. Consider this chance as my wedding gift. A bright future is awaiting you…Also wishing you a happy married life…May GOD bless you”

I sent the message and looked at her photo for a while. I “liked” and “shared” her photos and status. A tear, made with a mixture of feelings came out of my eyes when I changed my relationship status from “single” to “it’s complicated” …

“Some things in life are better when kept as secrets” I consoled my heart…